Come un coniglio davanti al serpente – Dagli di Tacco 6 – Mad Cows 3

When thinking about writing a match report in the sorrowful days of the pandemic swine flu, I figured it might be a good idea to bring some animals into the story. My first idea was to report the match seen through the eyes of Laister, the mascot dog. However, I had to find out that Laister wasn’t all that interested in this match, and a report from her point of view would have contained too many references to chubby old men playing tennis and herself trying to dig holes in the dust outside the pitch. Then I thought I had found another source of inspiration when Isabell shouted “Maiale!” across the pitch. But in fact all she was shouting was “Vai, Ale!” and gone was my inspiration.
Unfortunately the Mucche strikers eventually provided me with the ultimate reference to animals that I could use – the rabbit and the snake. That is pretty much how they looked at times tonight when facing the Dagli di Tacco goalie, a marvelous keeper with a thousand hands, as many feet and apparently hypnotic eyes. Like the snake that is about to swallow the poor little bunny whole, this girl would hypnotize her opponents and thus win one head-to-head situation after another. This happened so many times that, had this actually been a snake facing rabbits, this snake wouldn’t have to eat for another year or so.
But let’s start from the beginning. Almost needless to say that the Mucche were off to a slow start, the difference to other matches being that this time they were immediately punished. The physically strong Tacco girls scored two goals in the first five minutes (one with a shot from the distance, one after a beautiful combination) and made it clear that this was not going to be an easy task.
However, the Emmepì fought back and had two great chances by Christel and Sara immediately after. And then after about ten minutes it was Sara who under the eyes of her proud mother (and her, as mentioned, none-too-interested dog) scored the 1-2 with a beautiful left-footed cucchiaio from central position that would have made even Francesco “C’è solo un Capitano” Totti proud.
After that the Mucche kept pushing, but did not score. The DDT remained dangerous with counter attacks, but Isabell had a couple of good saves in a row and kept the score at 1-2. After some fifteen minutes Sara had a double chance, but “Il serpente” already then showed that she had quite some appetite tonight. One minute later, however, even she was powerless when Sara sent Mi Ah down the right wing, Mi Ah took a direct shot from an impossible angle and somehow managed to get the ball into the net to equalize the score at 2-2. And that was well deserved by then!
But alas, the good days were not to last. Two minutes later the DDT were again in contropiede and with a dry shot from the edge of the box made it 2-3. This came as a bit of a surprise at that point, but it did not shock the Mucche who kept attacking the opposition’s goal. Yet neither Mi Ah, nor Sara, nor Christel with another Koeman-like free kick managed to score the third goal. In fact, after this free kick the Tacco girls launched another one of their stunning counter attacks and made it 2-4 after 23 minutes.
Then our secret weapon arrived – Alessandra came late for the match but when she came onto the pitch she almost scored with her first ball contact. But if we have learned one thing in World War 2 then it is that secret weapons are of limited use if you cannot defend your own territory. And that’s what happened here as well. Next contropiede, next goal, 2-5. And despite two more great chances for Ale, this is how the match went into half time.
The second half began exactly in the same way. Another chance for Ale to score, another great save by the Tacco-snake. By then I had heard the word “mierda” from the ranks of the spectators more than once, and the mierda became even bigger when another counter attack led to another DDT goal after four minutes into the second half. 2-6!
The following minutes saw the bombardment of the opposition’s goal by Alessandra, but it goes without saying that their goalie always had a hand or foot in the way that would stop the ball from crossing the line. Not however after a quarter of an hour, when Ale hammered a free kick through the wall into the goal to make it 3-6. It should be mentioned that at this point Laister was actually paying attention and got really upset when Sara was fouled in the situation that led to this free kick. But you know how cynical dogs can be, and she immediately turned her back onto the match again and watched the tennis. No wonder, with all those planes coming in over the pitch she probably thought she was at the US Open anyway.
In the last ten minutes there were a couple more coniglio-serpente situations, which were obviously all won by the reptile. And so an entertaining match ended with an unlucky defeat for the Mad Cows, who seemed to be dogged by bad luck tonight. Never mind, sometimes you lose, sometimes the others win. It was still good fun, and considering the journey it takes to reach this pitch in Florence’s China town, this is essentially what the crowd (and the cronista) are asking for.

Jannis

The squad: Isabell – Costy – Christel – Sandra – Amy – Mi Ah (1) – Sara (1) – Alessandra (1)