If you love Mad Cows, God loves you, too!

     So the moment has arrived. For the final report of a great season, full of sprints & spritzs, cake-eating, in-the-van-and-elsewhere singing, dressing room (and not only) dancing, freezing in Curva, dog-sitting during games, injuries obtained both on the pitch and dance floor, enjoyment of wet trainings & matches, ball & shin (and not only) kicking, lots of ghiaccio (not only for us but also for our opponent teams), Sax Bar after-match chillouts, match reports, post-match lunches and whatever else is involved when one is a truly MAD COW.

   Yap, but it all started as usual. Well, apart from the fact that our coach Jony together with logistics manager Nú(t)ria had a bit of difficulties to actually assemble squadra for the last game. With four out of five team’s Capocannonieres having left or not available, EUI van not in use, some of players travelling around or still injured, official Match Reporter partying in Barcelona – given all this, we ended with probably the smallest game squadra that we have had during all the season. And on top of that, we had to face Florence – the best team of this play-off round, girls who have played together for some 20 years and against whom we already had lost the first match 1:8.

   However, knowing that good teams actually prefer playing football and not newly invented kicking-hugging-boxing discipline, knowing that good teams are less inclined towards acting-faking-exercise “you did breathe on my neck, I did fall” and having extreme faith in recently developed “there is only one attack in football and it’s called defense” strategy, Mad Cows felt quite confident and even excited. And off we went. And yes, we enjoyed what turned out to be one of the best matches of the season. Well, if not in terms of result (0:6 the final score), then absolutely in terms of dedication and team spirit.

   For the first and the last time of the season we stepped on the pitch without the usual “1-2-3-oleeee” thing. Paradoxically enough, Sara the Goshi Sister was not with the team to experience that, what a pity for her.

   As always, we were shielded by our Torito, the Wise and Wonderful, who seems to improve with each game his skill of implementing “carrot and stick” approach on his Herd. As for stick, before the match coach had specifically emphasized that everybody – even (three exclamation marks here) Francis the Kid – must return in time for defense. Otherwise he promised to be very disappointed. (By the way, the Kid finally obeyed instructions and actually did what Torito was asking for). As for carrot, after the game he promised to get Ieva The Word whatever she wants as reward for her performance in goal box . “Whatever” basically included a lover. Or, to be more precise, the exact number mentioned was “3” (simultaneously, I guess; though, he did not specify their gender). By the way, Torito, I’m still waiting for my DHL delivery. Just sayin’.

   The strength (as well as yet future potential) of Mad Cows was best shown by the first half which ended 0:1!!! And this is the time when defense line earns to be mentioned first. And I know what I’m talking about because I doubt whether I have had previous matches where I felt so protected in my goalie’s position. And I mean – literally “protected”. You know, there is this famous story, well known for those familiar with USSR hero stories – about a soldier named Matrosov, who during WW2 threw himself onto a German pillbox in order to block German machine-gun with his own chest. He died, of course, but during this moment his unit was able to advance and, consequently, to win the battle. (That’s basically how they entertained children in soviet times – while Western kid was listening how Cinderella lost her shoe as a bedtime story, we were told how to become a noble communist comrade. OK, I am actually kidding here). My point is: the team was full of Matrosovs that evening. At some point I started to reckon how many times everybody had received ball into their face (or other part of the body) from distance around 2 metres or less. But I lost count quite fast. Everybody – Marilú Captain & Commander, Nú(t)ria Mano Larga, Sanne Blonde Torita, Loredana Ghiaccio, Elisa Collina Piras and Francesca La Fantastica Asfaltrice from Korleone family – showed absolute dedication implementing “you will pass not” doctrine on our side of the pitch.

   It might be so that considerable part of merits here go to Nú(t)ria Mano Larga-ChiudeLeGambe who had trained the Herd to follow strictly the order “Defeeeeeeeense!!! Baaaaaaaack!!!”. She has succeeded so well that now there is no need for goalie to shout those magic words anymore. The moment when opponent team started their counterattack, all Cows were already running furiously back to our goal box. Brilliant!!

   And when even that did not help, we noticed that we were not quite alone on the pitch. Firstly it happened when after particularly strong shot ball dashed against goal-post, rolled exactly parallel to the goal line, all length of it, then dashed to the other side goal-post and rebounded back into middle, just in my hands. A moment later and… pfuuuu, almost identical situation. More or less the next minutes were something like first 50 sec in this video. Obviously, that was one of those revelation moments you can have only few times in your lifetime.

   The second half of the match was pretty much the same. The Herd fought till the last breath, running forward and back, Football God showed his goal-post mercy again (at least once), I did my couple of saves but... time went on, we got tired, I added my contribution with couple of received goals due to “still haven’t succeeded in closing my legs” symptom and, let’s admit, Florence is a brilliant team indeed. Basically their attack consists of a round of four people, a round which is rotating all the time around its centre and simultaneously moving forward. Thus sooner or later you feel like watching a never-ending carousel. Just that this carousel with certain regularity spits out dangerous cannon balls our brave Cow-Matrosovs were so ready and eager to meet. 

   However, don’t forget that we had to prove that we were still Mad Cows, after all! So yes, there was a bit of show this time, too. First element of that being: one of the most beautiful auto goals of the season. Basically the story goes like that: Nú(t)ria was so excited not to be goalie anymore and to regain her title as the Queen of Defense that at some moment she couldn’t restrain her thrill anymore – in absolutely elegant manner she intercepted opponents’ pass in the front of the goalbox, touched the ball tenderly and…changed its flight completely so that we faithfully fulfilled Mad Cows’ “at least 1 autogoal per game!” dogma.

   Another show element involved opponent player in the run, me diving to her legs to steal the ball before she shoots and her not stopping. Ouch! And that’s how I never play piano again. Of course, given all the adrenaline, rational mind and analytical skills had left me completely and the only thing I could deliver was some unquotable praying (to all that asked later – no, it was not Latvian, in moments of extremely deep joy I actually use Russian) and words “I CAN keep playing. And I WILL” (myself being the only person who was actually convinced by them). The show ended with a bit of ghiaccio and mystic sentence “According to my experience…” which I never ended and actually don’t remember delivering but obviously it sounded so intriguing that match referee even approached our Torito afterwards just to ask what exactly was meant by that (by the way, ENGLISH speaking referee, finally?!?)

   Yes, and part of the show was also telling the involved opponent player that it was not nice from her side not stop in time. But, of course, not everybody can be Finnish so exact wording was rather this. She listened, apologized and next attack Florence has, it’s the same striker of theirs, the same side of the pitch, the same position and guess what… at least Laia should understand now why this song had to be included in Mad Cows pre-match dancing playlist. As result, I was so shocked that my previous threat had not worked that this time “You say it best when you say nothing at all” approach was implemented. To put it more precisely; and after that, this.

   And last but not least – the Curva. With Bea the 2.0 Reporter & Photographer and the newest generation of Cows (Clara & Inés), Guillaume and Francisco, they probably drank a bit less wine than Curva usually does but their presence and shouts helped a lot during the darkest minutes of our pitch craziness. The last touch was way back to Sax Bar when “singing-dancing car” (YES, Kid was in that car; and Blonde Torita actually executed some possibly dangerous movements due to her willingness rather dance with us than drive the car) was overtaken by the car of one of Florence players. She seemed to be mildly confused noticing us behaving like we were the champions of the match. Which, of course, only increased our happiness.

   To summarize it all, there are no more words left than YOU'RE AWESOME! And I’m not talking only about this particular match. All the season was amazing! I truly believe that’s been quite an experience to everybody – to be a part of the team which was built up of people who mostly didn’t know each other half a year ago and some of whom hadn’t played football since childhood (if ever). A team which had its wins and its losses, its bad and good moments and which, above all things, kept having a SPIRIT, both on the pitch and dance floor. A team which can look back to the very first match of the season (against Ludus, remember?!) and proudly say to itself – yes, we have walked quite a road. And we have damned enjoyed it!

   Report by Ieva 'The Word'