Blue elettrico

   On Wednesday the Cows had their, most probably, last victory in the tournament. It was especially pleasant taking into account that the rival was Libertas Bisenzio, and that the bitter taste of last defeat. But, the defeat from the past prepared us for the victory on Wednesday. We knew how they play, we learned how to stop them and, technically, they didn’t score!

   The game started with Torito telling me "I can see a goal of Hamster Tirinannzi in 2 minutes"; she only needed 1. Dribbling and leaving behind most of Liberta’s players, she scored a marvelous goal. We know this type of goal, she does it in the trainings: it has Hamster’s Copyrigh. Yet, poor Libertas didn’t know her "I’M GOING TO SHOT, YOU BETTER HIDE BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO HURT" face expression and the ball went in (wee!!!). She was not only up into the attack, but also was tireless in defense. She was accurate and controlled her temper when num. 8 stole her drama queen skills when she fail each single shot. Competing for the Capocannoniere, she scored again, a wonderful goal also with Hamster copyright: the shot from far away that is impossible to stop, because is faster than the light. The second cannoniere of the match was MARILÚ!!! Who after a Hamster’s shot caught the ball inside the area and scored without mercy, celebrating the goal quite effusively. Captain and Commander was not only scoring but also dealing with num.8 as the faster defense we had. Prodigious job and good combinations with the attack made Marilú our defender-killer during the match. In charge of the attack was also Ghiaccio Loredana, that had an AMAZING opportunity, but she did the most difficult thing… to shot outside when the goal was totally empty! Hamster couldn’t believe it and Lore was quite astonished with her lack of aim, as all of us. Still, she didn’t desist and had more opportunities. She was also helping in defense and dealing with the pressure in the first line. Great job!  

   Francesca Minimal-Techno Asfaltatrice von Corleone was also in the attack, even when she was defender she just implemented the fuck this shit approach and to join the attack. She had very good opportunities but she was quite astonished by my SUPER-MEGA-INCREDIBLE cucchiaio pass, surpassing most of the defense, so she didn’t know what to do with it (I didn’t expect to do the pass neither). She even remembered to come back to defense (where she was supposed to be, ehem), and put herself in the middle of a shot of num.8 I think she is still recovering from the kicl. Also recovering from num. 8 pushes and lack of fair play is Torita Sanne, who did an incredible job in defense, stopping within the rules num. 8 and Bianca (who by the way has a new look, quite horrible we must say). But, she lost a bit the temper after a huge push from (surprise, surprise) num. 8. Torita Sanne was so well positioned to stop the ball and defend our goal that the ball kicked her and went in. But we agreed that this is not considered an auto-goal, mainly if you compare it with mine. In defense was also Gambetta Alessia, putting her fast Gambetta in the middle and taking the risk of break it due to num. 8 or 11 kicks (yeah this second one was also a fucking bitch). She was a bit bored in defense but she was very generous taking “the last defender” position. She did a great job and came back to the herd after her study-hell period. We know that in these games is important to have a proper Dottoresa on the pitch. Also in defense was Elisa Collina Piras, who was supposed to be in attack, but since France totally forgot her assigned task, she stayed back and helped to the last defender to deal with Liberta’s strikers. Improving her sync with the herd she had more connections with the attack and was up to help whatever needed. It was my last game and Torito told me that I must score. But, since I was the last defender and their goal was quite far away, I did what Torito told me… just that in the wrong side. After the auto-goal I wanted to kill myself and hide as an ostrich but my beloved daughter came and hug me. So, I stop my tears, picked the ball and ran to the attack until Bianca made me taste the floor. At the end I had to come back (because Nú(t)ria was yelling to me as hell) and implemented the “You shall not pass” dogma having very “nice” moments with no. 8 and Bianca, who by the way have improved their acting skills. 

   Last but not least, super Nú(t)ria ManoLarga Chiude le Gambe did an AMAZING job, only surpassed by her own defense and… NO GOALS BETWEEN THE LEGS. She stopped the draw goal in the last minute giving us the victory. Great goalie who organize our defense, remind me that I can’t go to the attack even if I’m bored in our area and that we have to TAKE FUCKING NUMBER 8! AND 11! ATTACK THEM! I felt a bit like a dog following orders but after the auto-goal I will follow every-single word of Nú(t)ria. 

   We had, also, our amazing curva, supporting us and drinking wine. Rebecca joined the usual suspects to cheer us for first time and she seemed quite proud of the herd at the end of the game. Jan the Poet came by bike, again, what a sportive guy! (well, maybe is just Dutch-bias). Jofre, who took a nap before to be fresh at the game time (22:30!), and Bea the Miracle (our 2.0 reporter and photographer) joined Nú(t)ria’s goal because she was very bored due to our superb game. And finally, SuperGoshi, who is not only our curva di lusso during the trainings, but also during the matches, he was, again our herd-doggie. We even had a non-nice-econ-guy mocking F.C.Barcelona supporters after the Champions defeat, guy that ended on Sax-Bar floor swearing that he wasn’t drunk. Yeah, sure… It’s KARMA! 

   Finally, it was my last game (also for super-Hamster!) and this is my last report. I finally scored, not where expected, but still I did! It was a pleasure to play the tournament with you, to celebrate the victories and also the defeats (actually, it was funnier to celebrate the defeats). To kick and be kicked, to do puzzles, eat Nutella, win cake contests and why not, to lose all the bets due to peer pressure. See you soon in Schifanoia… there is a Coppa Pavone Femminile to win, and my golden medal is feeling quite lonely right now. 

   Report by Lai(l)a Sánchez von Darth Vader