On
Monday the cows were conscious that the match would be hard, that the
pitch would be a battlefield and that we would have a hard time. What we didn’t expect is to
have AGAIN the referee Testa
di Cazzo, who seems to
be especially obsessed with us. With him on the pitch is impossible
to don’t do fouls: they hit you? Well, it was YOU who put the face
in her elbow; you are complaining about a foul? It is because you are
such a princess and defiant player. The B.B’s. Theater Company was
falling all over the pitch, performing an amazing theater play.
But in the battlefield is where teams are built. Covering each other’s
back and ready to kick anyone who dared to touch our herd, we fought
each ball, we played amazing and we were, again, more than a team.
Leading this herd was Torito
el Potro de Badalona
who showed his disappointment
and made the best use of Italian and Spanish parolacce. Still, he
tried to maintain the calm and don’t kill anyone. It was a huge
effort and he sort of succeeded, until the corridor on the way to the
changing room, where the coach of bitches was insulting our little
child and of course he can’t allow this shit.
Despite the kicks and mean rivals, the herd succeeded in the task: WE WON THE
FORTH GAME IN A ROW!!! And to commemorate it, we score 4 times. The
Capoconinere of the game was…. (Start the bets, who can be? Who
would score? What a tension!!! Gazelle
Miracolo! (yeah, who
would have guessed, eh?). The
reporter with a trade union that protects Nordic rights but exploits
poor Spaniards scored twice and maintained the calm when some of the
bitches pushed and hunted her quite aggressively. Gazelle is also improving the
passes each week and I was very glad, but surprised, to get the ball,
so I was always a bit slow in the reaction. Still, she maintained her
generous passes (maybe she mistook me with Tiger?) and helped in
defense, attack and, if you allow her, she would be the goalie!
Fighting for the Capocannoniere is also Hamster
Tirinnanzi, who was
one of the most kicked players, yet, she never faked a foul (are you
really Italian?!), although she didn’t really have to, because they
were actively trying to kill her. She also managed to control her
temper (most of the game) and
score a very nice goal. The only moment of confusion was when the
light was gone, and she was a bit puzzle by her shadow. And the third capo is... Anne
PushUp-PushUp! We knew about
her amazing aim, she has 11 goals in her personal account, but on
Monday we discovered her theater skills. With an injured ankle, she
was defending carefully but secure. She understood perfectly the wise
words from Torito, who encourage us to be more princesses and less
cows, to basically be Italian . She was nominated for a drama queen
Oscar after faking one foul quite exaggeratedly.
In
the attack was also Torita
Sanne, who showed that
we actually speak Italian and argue with the bitches and referee in
fluent Italian. LA PALLA SU LA LINEEEAAAA ARBITRO was her dogma. Running up and
down, reminding the referee that he also has to count the fouls of
the bitches and, of course being the queen of the second
crossbar, she didn’t had the prize of the goal, but she was close
to it. And now, the words of a proud mum… My little
Corleone, the Fantastica Asfaltatrice
stopped the game. Literally.
She was so pissed off, so FUCK THIS SHIT! that she started to say all
the bad words (she learned them in school, I don’t have anything to
do with it) shouting desperate because of referee's stupidity. After
showing us her Italian side, the director of B.B’s Theater Company
and his actresses left the pitch. They said it was because we were
faking fouls, playing dirty and provoking them. The truth is that
they were useless; unable to do more than two passes or shot to our
fantastic goalie without the help of the referee.
Aiming
for the red card and the Oscar for the best comedy actress was Darth
Vader. I was close,
but AS ALWAYS the crossbar was
in the fucking middle, or the goalie or some phantom that steal the
ball from my feet just when I was about to shot. I also contributed
to the "be italian" dogma but my theater performance lost
credibility because ALL THE TEAM was laughing after my shout of
pain. My laments in Spanish were confused by insults and this lead to
the second round battle on the changing room corridor, with the very
mean and quite aggressive coach of the bitches. Lucky us, Torito came
and showed his Bravura, arguing with THREE coaches at the same time.
The defense was S-U-B-L-I-M-E, wonderful, magic, simply the best.
Stopping all the balls, almost leaving their lives in the pitch,
praying for their safety and trying to don’t kill the referee.
Nú(t)ria Mano Larga
and Gemma the
Choreographer were
there to destroy their passes, but also to construct our game. We
always appreciate our attack, but the key of our victories is in the
defense. Nú(t)ria Mano Larga showed her self-control when all the
fouls she received were transformed in fouls against us. She did the
best in each action (even showing off her skills with the ball just
in front of the box), she fought each ball and defended or area inch
by inch. She almost lost her leg on the battle… but she survived. Next to her was Gemma The
Choreographer, constructing our attack from the back, controlling the
rhythm of the game and the rhythm of the changing room, showing us
some new steps for the Mad Cows choreography. Both of them are so
coordinated, so sync, that we
even confuse them on the pitch!
Last but not least Ieva the
Word. She was
concentrated, injured (we saw the bruise on her finger during post
match lunch) and stopping each ball that approached to our box. She
even had the satisfaction of kicking one of the actresses which
supposed a double penalty that, of course, she stopped. No matter how much they wanted
to fake fouls to get the penalties, because Ieva stopped every single
shot. But she is not only the goalie, she is also an amazing
assistant, that provided with dangerous balls to our attack.
We also had the support of the most numerous curva we ever had! Jan The Poet and Marilú Captain and Commander were leading the anthems. We
had the Danish child of Torito and Nú(t)ria, two boyfriends and two
lost economists (they are not used to visit “the city”, you know,
only VSP is in their Navigator). But the curva had an important
member of the herd who is leaving us. We had to say “goodbye” to our Tiger. She has to go back to Germany, although she can apply to the Italian nationality
due to her progress in the language. The herd was devastated in the
changing room when Nú(t)ria
told us that she won’t play the last game with us. We were doing
passes were she was supposed to be, to notice that… she was not there! After the initial shock,
and holding back tears due to the sadness, we keep playing. I think
everyone will agree that we are going to miss a lot our Tiger and
Nutella Monster. But there are good news, she signed a contract with
cake to come back and play the Pavone’14 with us. And if a contract
in a napkin worked for Messi and Barça, it should work for the Cows
and Tiger. See you in June, ready to break some balls.
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