First of all, greetings to all the cows who survived to the slaughter of Brea¿c?k Balls. This “team” that does not even know how to write their name, was more a club of Butchers than a soccer club. Their Capo, il Gallo di Combattimenti num. 7 tried to blind our Tiger, their Butcher num. 69 totally forgot the ball and tried to kill our Gazelle; núm. 22 punched Magalí with the consequential yellow card… for Magalí! And the point is, my dear Babel Tower, that we have to learn Italian to make the referee shit in his pants as Slaughters CF did. The game almost end in a massive fight but my dears, this is not our match. It was theirs. We play soccer, we respect the spectacle, we love the game, we respect our rivals and even the shittiest referee ever. And, because of this, we deserve the words of the report.
On Wednesday, our wonderful team expected a total defeat
against the third in the classification, but the herd of cows was up on the
score most of the game. The Torito
of this herd has done a great job, on Saturday we control the game against 5
guys, against Slaughters CF we show him that he can be proud of his job.
Behaving as a real gentleman, he survived to the freeze of the bench; he felt
our pain and our frustration. But he is also starting to dream with the Pavone
2014, because ladies… all of us played our best. Perhaps because it was,
probably, the last match of our Capocannoniere
and we wanted her to leave us with a smile, a victory, lots of fun and
chocolate. The words are not enough in English (I always feel a bit limited
with this language) to qualify the outstanding, astonishing, wonderful soccer
that Gazelle Mira gave us during the last months. On Wednesday she was
especially motivated, passing the ball and working in defense, and of course
scoring… this time in the rivals goal! Twice!!! The queen of the wing. Fast as
the wind and elegant as Audrey Hepbur, she contributed to our Babel Tower
talking in Finnish to the opponents… and me! She was hit; they made her fly, but
then can’t stop the Turpeinen Torpedos.
She was kind with the Butcher num. 69 after an homicidal attempt; she got up
fast, I was fearing a punch from her to the Butcher but then… she started to
speak Finnish!! After a few seconds of shock for the three of us, she
translated to English. I understood, the butcher didn’t. “It was not nice”-she
said. Pardon but… REALLY MIRA? NOT EVEN A FUCK YOU BITCH?! Just a “THIS WAS NOT
NICE?!” But, you know, we wanted to play and have fun, so we started to connect
with passes again. And the best connection in the team was, of course, the
Gazelle-Tiger one. It was wonderful, astonishing, amazing… there are no words
to describe it (OMG I hate English!!).
Tiger Inken showed her fierce face on the pitch when the slaughter began. Luckily, she survived in the jungle of the pitch. The number 7 thought that it would be a good idea to take off the contact lenses from the Eye of the Tiger, perhaps to give them to the referee, since he didn’t see any of the fouls from the Butchers but, somehow, he saw us doing non-existing fouls (I’m starting to thing that he was high in LSD), Inken, was so mad that she wanted to come back to the pitch to kill the num.7. Task in which Loredana was up to help. As one of the few players that understood what the Slaughters CF said, she was more than mad, asking for revenge and implemented the “THIS IS SPARTA” attitude in the middle of the pitch. Ghiaccio Loredanna had more work than ever trying to take care of our injuries. She asked for the home of the other team, maybe for our vendetta, she also had good opportunities to score but, there as always someone ready to kick her and stop her attempts. Von Darth Vader started the match high in codeine and with a very low competitive spirit (but almost scoring in the first 3 minutes, yeah!). However, as the punches and kicks of Slaughters CF began, I felt like in my not very nice home neighborhood. Contributing to This is Sparta way of playing and trying to survive to the number 7 and 22 kicks and punches (my mum just asked me if I have a violent boyfriend who hit me), I was the luxury spectator of both gazelle goals and I shouted to the goalie: YES! IN YOUR FACE BITCH! lucky me, she didn’t understand.
Tiger Inken showed her fierce face on the pitch when the slaughter began. Luckily, she survived in the jungle of the pitch. The number 7 thought that it would be a good idea to take off the contact lenses from the Eye of the Tiger, perhaps to give them to the referee, since he didn’t see any of the fouls from the Butchers but, somehow, he saw us doing non-existing fouls (I’m starting to thing that he was high in LSD), Inken, was so mad that she wanted to come back to the pitch to kill the num.7. Task in which Loredana was up to help. As one of the few players that understood what the Slaughters CF said, she was more than mad, asking for revenge and implemented the “THIS IS SPARTA” attitude in the middle of the pitch. Ghiaccio Loredanna had more work than ever trying to take care of our injuries. She asked for the home of the other team, maybe for our vendetta, she also had good opportunities to score but, there as always someone ready to kick her and stop her attempts. Von Darth Vader started the match high in codeine and with a very low competitive spirit (but almost scoring in the first 3 minutes, yeah!). However, as the punches and kicks of Slaughters CF began, I felt like in my not very nice home neighborhood. Contributing to This is Sparta way of playing and trying to survive to the number 7 and 22 kicks and punches (my mum just asked me if I have a violent boyfriend who hit me), I was the luxury spectator of both gazelle goals and I shouted to the goalie: YES! IN YOUR FACE BITCH! lucky me, she didn’t understand.
Magalí, former patatine,
actual Patata-Brava increased the
decibels of her PUTAIN to the legal limit. She was punched by num. 22 and she
got the yellow card. Yes, for being punched; this was the general issue in the
match, they hit you? Is your fault! Thanks referee. However, between punch and
kick, she manage to stole some balls, shoot and made num.22 run and suffer. Elisa Collina was totally shocked
by the lack of courage of the arbitro.
Tireless, she ran the wing, protected the area and tried to don’t lose the mind
with the terrible mistakes of Shit in the
Pants. Her connection with our goalie was clear, and she caught most of the
passes from the goal to the attack.
Núria-Mano-larga was IN-CRE-DI-BLE. It’s time to appreciate the
wonderful job that Nú(t)ria does in every match, in every training, in every
dinner and Spritz. She stopped num. 69 with all the tools available within the
rules, she stopped num. 7; she stopped all the fucking butchers. We have an
amazing Capocannoniere, wonderful wings and courageous forwards, but if we win,
if we score, if we attack, is because we are completely sure that we had the
back covered. In Nú(t)ria we trust, in Nú(t)ria we believe.
It was a difficult match
to be the goalie of our team. Elena the
Climber was freezing most of the time in the goal. But when the time to act
came, she did a wonderful job. With two double penalties executed by the
Butcher num.69, to stay in the goal and don’t ran victim of the panic was a
huge effort. Elena The Climber did an amazing job, she almost stopped the first
penalty and she gave wonderful passes to the forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment