When the last edition of the EUI review came out, the authors of the article on the Mucche Pazze, Mi Ah and Amy, were not exactly pleased with the editors. For one thing because of Mi Ah’s sudden change of nationality, but also because some genius declared calcetto to be “seven-a-side” football. As it turned out last night, this person was not that far off after all: the match actually ended with seven players on the pitch, but on both sides combined. Once again, the Mad Cows had to face an opposition that started the game with a numerical disadvantage, as they were obviously missing one player. After they lost another player in the course of the game due to injury, Paolo eventually took off one of our players as well, and this is how we ended up with seven people on the pitch.
Given this unusual constellation, Stefi asked me the right question after the match: “What are you going to compare this match to?” The answer is in the title: there is no suitable comparison, as football matches usually do not start with one team being one player down. I was considering a Thermopylae metaphor, since the Olimpia girls (judging from their name Peloponnesians, just like the Spartans) defended themselves very well indeed and made it very hard for the Mucche to pass. But identifying the Mad Cows with a fierce Persian army and Paolo with Xerxes overstretched my imagination to an extent that I decided to put aside the comparative methodology for once.
Before the match even started, the groundskeeper had to announce another deficit: “Un pallone a cinque non ce l’ho.” Luckily he found one very quickly, and so the uneven battle could commence. And things got going fairly quickly. After four minutes, Mi Ah hit a kick in from the sideline straight onto the goal, the goalie did her the favour to touch the ball but could not stop it, and so it went in to make it one-nil for the Emmepì. When immediately after Sara hammered the ball against the cross bar, it seemed like this was going to be a quiet evening – after all, there were just four of them.
But in fact, the four Olympians were very well organized and showed a lot of commitment, which made it hard for the Mucche to get through to their goal and take shots. And when they did, the superb Olympic goalie saved whatever was coming her way and thus made sure that the game went into half time with a modest 1-0 lead for the five Mad Cows.
This is pretty much how the game continued in the second half. There is no point in enumerating all the chances the Mucche had, since there were lots of them as the match progressed. But none went in. Ten minutes into the second half, however, the physical strain took its toll on the opposition and one of their girls went out with injury. She tried to blame Christel for this, but it did not become clear how Christel touching her back should have resulted in her hurting her leg. Anyhow, with only three of them left things got considerably easier and within two minutes Sara and Mi Ah made it two-nil and three-nil respectively.
Mister Xerxes then showed pity and gave the following magnanimous order: “Ladies, let’s score one more and then one out.” But that was easier said than done against the hopelessly decimated opposition. The Mucche tried hard not to try too hard, if you catch my drift, and perhaps that is why Lisa, who made a promising debut on the squad, carefully placed the ball just wide of the left and right goal post respectively. So Paolo was forced to take Sara off five minutes to the end without having scored another goal. Eventually it was Christel who made it four-nil with one of her much feared Ronald Koeman shots, which was followed by the final blow of the whistle.
Is there anything to be learned from such a farcical game? For one thing, complimenti to the ladies for having kept their concentration against a decimated side, this is not an easy thing to do. But it should be also clear that things would have looked very different against five of them. Anyway, the season is still long and there is time and room for improvement.
Jannis
The squad: Elena – Christel (1) – Stefi – Mi Ah (2) – Amy – Sara (1) – Lisa
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